My partner and I have a secret ritual when we present our lottery ticket for checking. It involves kissing the ticket three times first him, then me and then the dog.
It hasn't happened yet, but when my numbers come up, and they will, I am completely prepared. What would be the most classic theme for a luxurious dinner party? You guessed it Bond. James Bond. A black tie and sparkly ball gowned event, held on the terrace of my recently purchased snow-capped mountain villa in Austria.
Before any extreme liposuction procedures or red sports car purchases, I would fly to Italy and bring home my baggage allowance weight in white truffles. Oh, these aren't to eat; I will be having a Lady Gaga-esque gown made of truffles to wear to the big event. I mean, why wouldn't you? I might shave a little off the cuff to serve with my Coffin Bay oyster starter with truffle crèpinettes.
While my guests are on the terrace sipping a vodka martini, complete with a one-carat diamond, I would be whipping up a champagne-poached lobster for each of my guests. Well, I wouldn't be per sé Australia's best chefs would be, who had been flown in especially for the party. I would just be assisting (with an apron on of course). It seems criminal to change the delicate flavours of a fresh South Australian lobster but Mr Bond himself wouldn't turn his nose up at French champagne sauce, would he?
GALLERY: World's most expensive cocktails
During a special performance by the Rat Pack (hologram video camera flown in by a slick black helicopter, or maybe on unicorns I haven't decided yet) I would be serving massive slices of my Goldfinger cake a rich decadent chocolate dessert sprinkled with shards of gold leaf on Royal Copenhagen Flora Danica dinnerware. Yes, of course it's yours to keep. It's vulgar to discuss money, but these plates cost upwards of 1,000 Euros each. Don't mention it.
We would then hit the slopes after dinner (by this stage, I have changed out of my dress and put on faux bear-skin ski pants with matching toothed hoodie) and ski across the fields to my new holiday chalet to enjoy Remy Martin XO cognac-soaked raspberries.
At this point I would tell all of my guests that I had paid their mortgages, bought them all 1976 Holden Toranas (they can choose the colour) and that Mr Bond's fledging career had been saved as I had employed him as our personal butler. He woudn't impressed to be sharing servants quarters with Pedro the pool boy, but hey, James! Quit whining!
Needless to say, I haven't won any more on the lottery than about $25, which may get me half a lobster tail, or the back of an earring from SSSecrets, but you've got to be in it to win it, right? In case you are wondering, my Torana would be lime green.
For your ultimate, luxurious dinner party, we suggest the following menu:
Oysters with mignonette and truffle crèpinettes
Champagne-poached lobster with asparagus and baby leeks
Gold leaf chocolate cake